Southern Musings

When my children were little, I dreamed of having a large house. It was actually four houses in one. They were all connected and formed a square around a central patio area. Each house had a kitchen, living room, and several bedrooms. There was a hallway with doors connecting the houses together. You could technically walk in the front door, down a hallway through all four houses to come back to where you started. Yes, this was only a dream, but it was the house that I wanted. With a house like that, my children could all live near me but still have their own home too.

The house never became my reality. True, there are still several years to go in my life, but after the past few months, I’m not sure that just a connecting door would be enough of a cushion between the houses. I’m no longer sure that I would want to live that close to all of my children. With them living that close, it would be too easy to run to Mom.

Currently, my daughter and her three children have moved back home. Add to that my two boys that are still in school, and you have one full house. There is never a dull moment in this house! I’m glad that they felt that this was a safe place for them to turn to during their time of need, but there are times that I’m unsure of whether I am helping or hurting them by allowing them to remain. Things are definitely very different from before.

I had been used to being able to get up in the middle of my writing to take care of something without any worries of losing my work. The worst thing that could happen was for my power to blink off since my battery backup died and I have yet to replace it. After the addition to our household members, if I have to walk away from my computer while in the midst of writing an article or even an email, I may come back to find my computer has been overtaken by my daughter or my grandchildren. The work I had poured my heart into may be gone forever.

I was used to having a pile of laundry waiting on me most days. Now it is a mountain that never seems to go down any at all. We used to do 2-3 loads per day, now at least 4 or 5 need to be done daily. We went from four people to eight living in one household. It seems like almost everything doubled. How on earth, three small children can eat and mess as much as these do is beyond my capability to understand.

When the days are stressed with trying to find time and energy, not to mention money to meet all of the needs of a household that doubled in size overnight, I find myself wanting to run away and hide. At times I curl up in bed and try to force the worries of how to make it through another day out of my mind by the numbness of sleep. At other times, I know that things are better today than they were yesterday. Well, at least on most days they are.

Then after a good night’s sleep, I wake up to the pitter patter of little feet and a knock at my door. A whispered “Grandma” can wake me up faster than a weather siren would if it was placed right outside my bedroom window. I know that with three little words my day can begin in the best way possible. All I have to do is say, “Come here baby” and I will be blessed with the best hugs and kisses in the world. When the day starts off like that, it is indeed a special day.

Unfortunately, that warmth and love is quickly over as the time comes to get everyone else up and ready for school or work. As we are all rushing to get into the shower and dressed in time to hit the road in our different directions, the day begins to be more stressful and the blessed feeling of the morning begins to fade. As the day wears on and more and more things have to be dealt with, the body becomes weary and craving the comfort of the quiet night.

Extended families living together in one home makes for a lot of issues that can complicate life. Bodies seem to require more than we feel we have to give. A good night of sleep does a lot to renew the body, but the spirit needs that early morning sound of little feet running down the hall. With each closer step, my heart begins to flutter with the anticipation of hearing “Grandma” moments before feeling the glory of a child’s love. With love, understanding, and a lot of hard work, extended families can make a home filled with the blessings that every child needs.

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