Southern Musings

As the year quickly draws to a close, the entire world seems to be talking about how they will celebrate. The local news channel is running news stories at least once per week about a local cab company that will be giving free rides home for those that party too much to drive. Hotels are running specials that include a celebration in the price. Individuals all around are rushing to the store to pick up the last minute items they need for their own celebration. At my house, my boys will be waiting up until the magical hour with me while my husband will be catching a few z’s.

We just are not into the big elaborate parties. We may have a special meal or simply plan some time together, but we rarely go all out and have a party or even friends over. Sure I would love to have a big party and go all out, but my budget and my time just do not allow for such a celebration. Instead, we will be having our nice quiet evening at home again. 

We will have a nice dinner at home before watching a movie or favorite show. Then about 11:00 or 11:30, we will grab some snacks and fight for our favorite seat in front of the television. After midnight, the boys will drift off into their rooms to play video games or chat with late night friends. I will eventually get tired and catch a few z’s of my own.

It may not sound like a big deal, but to me it is. It is a quiet time. A time to reflect over what happened the previous year and think about what changes I feel need to be made in the upcoming year. It is a time that I can say goodbye to the bad times, remember the good, and plan for even better.

Celebrations do not have to be big or expensive. They do not have to involve a lot of people. They can be just a moment of being thankful for what we have and grateful for what we are about to receive.

Regardless of how you plan on seeing the start of the new year, I hope that your life is filled with much happiness and that your heart and mind are open to the good things that will be coming your way. Allow the negative things to quietly drift away while hoarding as many good memories as you can. Celebrate life, love, and happiness as you find your own personal way of marking yet another point in history.

Even though life is definitely better than the alternative of not living, sometimes just day to day living gets in the way of our doing what we want to do. That is what has been happening to me over the past few months. As I have struggled with accepting that I can not control everything in my life, I have come to see that there are times that we must take a step or even ten backwards to get to what we need to do.

Honestly, I’ve still not accepted completely that I can not control what happens around me. I’m a control freak from way back, so it may take me longer to accept it all than it should.

A few years back, I was happily floating along in my life. I would volunteer whenever I didn’t have work to do. My work consisted of substitute teaching, so I had many days without work. That was okay. I had lots of things to do to keep me busily helping others. I enjoyed it.

One day, it hit me that I had no way to support myself if it came down to it. After I had a few days of panic, I decided to go back to school. Just like I ususally do, I jumped in with both feet. I got through school in record time by taking way too many classes at once. Now you see why I want to get back to the slower pace that is famously southern in nature. I was exhausted! The sound of taking it slow and easy was music to my ears.

It started off good. I was looking for a job and doing a little writing here and there. I was also substituting and volunteering. Then the call came with a short term job. Wonderful news that it was, it still wasn’t exactly what I was looking for long term. Then the phone rang again, and I had another short term job. For a month, I had a full time job and a part time, both of which would not last long. Then I was down to just the full time job. Life was still busy, but there was a light at the end of that tunnel that reminded me that this was not forever. Another short term job came along immediately after the second one ended.

 I was keeping busy. Finding time to write or even look for a regular job seemed impossible. What happened to my slow pace I had been craving? I was busy as ever!

Then it hit. Everything came to a stop. No job and nothing on the horizon. What was I going to do? Panic set in. I had to find someway to get off this emotional rollercoaster I was on. How was the question.

I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t know the answer. I’m still searching for that answer, just like I’m still searching for that ever elusive job. The difference is that I am reminding myself each day that I don’t have to be in control of everything. I just have to take each day as it comes and do what I can. So what if life gets in the way. It is definitely better than not living. Also, as I think back on the good things that have happened in my life, most of them happened not because of anything in particular that I did to make them happen. I simply took advantage of what opportunity I had before me and enjoyed the resulting joy.

Instead of allowing myself to get wrapped up in the efforts of trying to make things the way I want them, I’m trying to find the joy in what I have. I’m taking the time to look at things with fresh eyes. I’m not going to go throwing caution to the wind, but I am going to have a little faith that my needs will be met without my having to drive myself insane on an emotional rollercoaster. Who knows, maybe letting go will be just what is needed to allow me to find that elusive job. The rest and relaxation will definitely be more like the slow southern pace that I have been craving. How do you find your relaxation?