Southern Musings

Whether you are having a party or a cookout, the time has come for one final fling of the summer. Hopefully you live in the South where you can squeeze in another weekend cookout or day on the water. Since this is the last “holiday” of summer, then even here in the South, we must at least give the appearance of considering this our final fling of the summer.

How to spend the day or the weekend is the question that is on the minds of many people. At least it is on mine today. What to do? The day was began by a labor union that planned on the day being filled with parades and speeches given by leaders. Should I have a cookout that lasts all weekend long? Maybe take a daytrip somewhere? Just kick back and relax and enjoy the extra time with my family? Decisions, decisions, they surround me everywhere I go.

I have managed to squeeze in a few more days at work due to people heading off to the beach for the weekend. There are times that I wish I could join them, then I think of the crowds and remember how nice and quiet it will be at home. I can feel the stress rushing away as I type.

Although the boys will be out of school and my husband may be off work, there is still the chance that my oldest son will be called into work. Since I would prefer to avoid the crowds and simply relax, the decisions have been limited to a cookout or just hanging out at home. As I leave work today, I will need to have my mind made up. Or if I decide to just leave it all up to chance and not plan, I could pick up any items needed for a small family cookout or items to cook quickly inside. Then I would be ready for the weekend without breaking the bank with an elaborate trip or huge party.

Since the day is still young and the weekend is still a few days away, I think I shall ponder on this decision throughout my day. If you have not made up your mind how to spend the weekend, I suggest taking a look at a brief article on the history of the day which can be viewed at http://www.socyberty.com/Holidays/History-of-Labor-Day.229807. I know I personally will not be attending any parades or speeches given by labor leaders. Instead I will be sending up prayers for the families of all those that have helped change the working conditions in the past and for those leaders that will continue to improve conditions for the future. Then, I will enjoy my day with my family. I hope that you will take a few minutes to learn about the holiday and remember those it is designed to honor as you enjoy your day your way.

Whether it should be or not, religion and politics are two topics that generally can be counted on to stir up discussion. Sometimes that discussion should have been avoided. Sometimes it causes a relationship to be broken past the point of repair. Today, I’m going off on a tangent and sharing a personal experience with  you. One that I probably should just shut up and let the urge to share pass me by.

Personally, religion and politics are two topics that I frequently try to avoid. I live in the Bible Belt. People here take their religion very seriously. Some go to church every time the door is open. Churches have family and fun nights. Members go out into the community and try to invite others to come visit the church. Sometimes friendships are even based upon what church a person goes to. There are some people that would rather try to avoid the topic in conversation. Today, I was looking over a few articles I have written and came across an article written after a particularly bad discussion with a family member.

This article was written during a time of great pain. I had been going through a rather tough time personally. I had been dealing with a family member that turned abusive. I ended up being stupid enough to think that I could talk to another family member about it. This family member had never been overly religious, so I did not expect the discussion to turn to religion. Even though my beliefs were firmly in place, hearing someone just say that they would pray for me was not what I needed.

True, I needed the prayer. I was even thankful for the prayer. My strong religous beliefs and my tendency to avoid discussion of religion to keep down disagreements kept me from being overly verbous in my appreciation. Honestly, I may not have even said anything but a courtesy “thank you.” In no way was I prepared for the reaction that my lack of overwhelming appreciation brought about.

In the resulting email discussions, I was unable to communicate to this family member that I do have very strong religious beliefs and that I do believe in the power of prayer. I have seen several family members healed when very little hope for their recovery was given. I pray over some of the silliest things and some of the more serious things. To have this person make statements naming my name and publically announcing that they feel sorry for me and my lack of beliefs, that was too much.

Not only does she have an erronous view of me, but she is also someone that I no longer communicate with at all. All because of a conversation about religion. Even living in the south where caring for your neighbor and being there for them in their time of need could not put a damper on the results of a discussion once religion was brought into the mix.

As for me, I will continue to believe in God. I will continue to believe in prayer. I will also continue to do everything in my power to avoid discussions of religion. When the fabric of a family can be torn into and damaged this drastically over someone simply not showing enough appreciation over the simple statement “I’ll pray for you”, then I think it is time that I take another look at the article I linked above. Indeed, it is necessary to stop and think before we say “I’ll pray for you.” Not only between people that we do not personally know well, but even those that we have know our entire lives. Instead, maybe we should just say a quiet prayer without trying to make ourselves look good by telling them what we are going to do. I suppose we could ask for their approval first, but is that totally necessary? If we simply say a quiet prayer, the important part will remain the same. The prayer will still be heard whether those that we pray for ever know we pray for them or not.

There is a genius in the world of business. Okay, so there are more than one or two. The one I want to thank for my memory of the day is a business in San Diego. The CNN.com video is titled The Smash Shack. Why is this woman a genius? She charges people to let them smash things. She gets paid money to allow customers to don protective gear and smash plates, glasses, and even picture frames.

This video brought back more than a few memories. No, I do not have a penchant for smashing glassware. I was thinking more along the lines of some major smashing. Smashing that really gets your blood pumping, your muscles aching, and all that anger out. All you need is a sledge hammer and an old junk car. NO! Not the one you use to drive to work each day. I’m talking about one from a junk yard. Preferrably one that is donated. Why donated? Because you do not want to spend money to make money, if you can.

Okay, so where does making money come into this. You will see in a bit. Before you think that I’ve completely lost what little mind I have left, I need to start over at the beginning.

Years ago, I was in a marching band. We needed money. We had a fun day planned. We had all sorts of booths and activities. My dad happened to own a wrecker service and service station. I know, get on with the new information. Sometimes people just never picked up their vehicles way back then. They were wrecked. They may not have had insurance. For whatever reason, the vehicles sometimes stayed in our “lot” for decades. One such car was put to good use. It was donated for our fund raiser.

Why would we want an old junk car that had probably been in a wreck already? Back then, they were still made of metal. It would take some strong muscles and a good sledge hammer to make much of a dent in them. So, my dad hauled the car up to the school. Handed them a sledge hammer. People lined up to pay to smash the car. Smash they did!

The car was slaughtered! I wish I had a photograph to share with you. It was amazing at the damage that these, mostly high school, boys did to this car. It looked like it had been hit by a freight train instead of 16-18 year old boys. They got to use their muscles, the band got the money, and the car, well, it probably didn’t care. At least it was not sitting in the junk yard for those few hours.

Now days, you have more issues to contend with. If you were to try this today, you would have to deal with car titles, clean up, enviromental protection, safety equipment for the participants, and on top of all of that someone somewhere would find some small loop hole to make it illegal or an insurance nightmare. Times sure do change. Not always for the bad, and not always for the good.

If the world had more places such as the San Diego store that allowed people to take out their anger in a controlled environment, would the world be a better place? Would we have less road rage, fewer attacks, less people on trial for murder? We may never know the answer to that question. I sure wish I had a concrete building and a couple million plates to find out.

Would you pay $6,800 for two dolls? An Arkansas woman did just that. Brenda Moore of Bentonville won the boxed set of Elvis and Priscilla wedding day dolls in a charity auction to benefit Presley Place. Since the Moore’s gave to the charity anyway, why not give a little more and get a set of signed dolls for showing off to their friends.

Moore was not the only one to go to some rather extreme measures to be some of the first to receive their boxed set. 150 fans lined up to be at the Graceland souvenir shop when the dolls were unveiled. An additional 40,000 sets will be distributed to retailers later in the year. What lucky big girls will be receiving boxed sets for Christmas?

(August 12, 2008)

When I checked the stats tonight, I had 21 unique visitors and 79 page views. Come on folks, I need a challenge! These squares will be started tomorrow. I’ll add to this post tomorrow to update the progress. Please give me a challenge here!

Southern beaches are a wonderful place to relax. You can kick your shoes off, walk along the beach, wade in the shallow part of the water, or just lay back and enjoy the sun. They can also be a little messy at times. Sometimes they are interesting in yet very different ways. Continue Reading »

Southern hospitality is something that many of us southerners take very seriously. Helping others is another thing that I personally take seriously. When friends come to visit, it is my job to make them feel welcome.

As you visit this blog and take the time to visit the links on the left hand side column, please know that you are helping me to help others. First you are helping me. I write this blog because I love to write, love to discuss the south, and because it helps bring in a few extra pennies into my household budget.

Since my pay depends on how many people take the time to come and read the words that pour fourth from my fingers, I have to try to promote visiting the blog. Sometimes, I do this by telling anyone that I know. Sometimes I have even been known to beg for visits. Hey, I’m being totally honest here!

Today, I come to you to ask for your help in a personal challenge that I’m beginning. For the month of August, I plan to make a six inch crochet square for each visit to t his blog. The squares will be sent to an online charity that turns these squares into blankets for the needy. If you want to help me with the challenge, then please, visit all the different posts listed on the left hand column. Share the information with family and friends, so they too can come visit. I will post at least once a week to keep you informed on the progress.

So come on, help me out! Challenge me! I want to see how many visits you all can send my way. My crochet hook is waiting and I have a box of yarn just sitting there taking up space. I’m waiting on your visits!

This post is neither sponsored by or endorsed by today.com. This is just me, trying to help out others and needing a challenge to keep me motivated. So visit away and keep my crochet hook busy!

It is no secret. I am in my forty’s. I’ve lived in the south all of my life, so maybe I have lived a little more sheltered life than some. I grew up helping my family with their business. It was just a small service station and garage. Because of those years spent helping out, I think that I tend to have a different perspective on growing up southern than many of my former classmates. Some days were more memorable than others. Continue Reading »

This is the day that I knew would come. I thought I would be ready. Boy was I ever wrong! This is the first day of my oldest son’s final year of high school. He left for school on time, wishing he could stay home. I wanted to cry and beg him not to go. Instead, I was the mom he needed me to be and told him to get his tail in that truck right away.

I can’t tell him how much I wanted to cry as he drove down the driveway. I can’t tell him how often I thought back about his first day of school and even the day he was born. He would not understand how much it hurts to watch your little boy growing into a young man.

He is a blessing. He works. He even plays sports. He tries hard to do things a man would. Sometimes he still wants to be the boy and play games. He sometimes is even a little difficult to get started on his day. Those are the times that I can remember that he is still and always will be my son.

While I was attending college to get my teaching degree, he would walk behind my chair and pat my back. He would look over my shoulder to see what I was working on and sometimes even comment. One day, he walked by as I was reading Love You, Forever. It caught his attention, so I read it to him.

Yes, he can read it himself. I just happen to believe that everyone can benefit from hearing a story read to them from time to time. I’m very glad that I took the time to read that book to him that day. From then on, when he saw me stressed, he would come to my side and quote the book to me.

Sons seem to have trouble letting their mothers know that they believe in them. For him, that was his way of letting me know that he believed in what I was trying to do. I made it through it, but not without the help of my husband and my sons.

This morning was a rather emotional time for me. I think I did a good job of not allowing my emotions to show through. I sure could have used hearing him quote that book this morning. When he told me that he did not need my money for lunch, it really sunk in that he was growing up. When he did not want to go to school, I had thought he was still being my little boy. He proved me wrong. He is my son that has grown into a young man. No, I’m not ready for this day. When it happens with my youngest son, I will be a basket case.

When someone comes into my house, they do not have a lot of choice in regards to drinks available. I do keep bottled water on hand, since our tap water has a bad taste to it. Sometimes I have some soft drinks. I generally have the ingredients to make Kool-Aid. Rarely will you enter my home and open my refrigerator that you will not see a pitcher of tea. For those of you that may not be very familiar with my tastes that would be sweet tea. I am southern after all.

If it is fresh made, help yourself to the crushed or cubed ice in the door. If it has been in there awhile, you can still help yourself to the ice, if you want. It has to be cold. The weather outside is just too hot in the summer. Our winters are generally mild, but even if they were freezing, we would just use the weather to chill our tea. Who could do without the tea? That would be like asking me to stop breathing. I will not give up either one willingly.

If you are diabetic or prefer unsweet tea, you better stick with the bottled water. There is no way that I would be able to make you a pitcher of tea that is either hot or unsweet. I will show you where the kitchen is so you can make your own. The Luzianne website refers to sweet ice tea as the “house wine” of southerners. For this southerner, it is my lifeblood.

Sweet tea and iced tea go way back in history. According the Luzianne website at www.luzianne.com, iced tea may have began in the early 1800’s. It was first recorded in cookbooks as being made with green tea leaves and usually included alcohol in the mix. Over time, it has evolved into the almost syrupy concoction that is often ordered in southern restaurants as “sweet tea” or “unsweet tea”.

Even though the history of sweet tea and iced tea goes back much farther than I do, I am definitely old enough to be a stubborn southern woman. When you come to my house, I will offer you a glass of tea. Expect it with ice and with tons of sugar. That is, if you get there before I empty the pitcher. If that is the case, give me a few minutes and you can have some fresh tea. Same rules apply though.