Southern Musings

Tracy Lawrence sang a song titled “If the World Had a Front Porch.” This song reminded me of many southern days and nights spent sitting on the porch. The porch was the preferred hang out. We talked about a lot of different topics and even had several heated debates. Often, we even pulled practical jokes on people. But through it all, the front porch was still a special place. In the song, it is a place of peacefulness and solving problems.

With the way the world is going today, I think this song should be played several times a day on every radio station. Think of all the people it would reach! The world is full of pain and suffering. It is full of people that have forgotten the art of compromise. There are some times when compromise just will not work. There are many other times when if we could sit down on the front porch and talk it all out with family members that we might just find a resolution without having to resort to taking people to court or fighting legal battles.

Front porches are great for sitting in the shade to shell peas or break beans. There is no place quite the same for cranking the old ice cream maker to make that sweet concoction of many hot summer days’ dreams. Sitting in the swing watching people drive by is a relaxing pastime. Just do not forget to wave or holler out a “how ‘ya doing” from time to time. Porches are friendly places, you know.

The decorations do not have to be as extravagant as those in magazine spreads. Although, many of the porches in Southern Living magazine make me want to grab some cool lemonade, they are a bit pricey for many southerners budget. A simple porch swing, a big comfortable chair, or even just a plain old fashioned rocking chair would work. Add in a table to put your drink on and you are all set for an afternoon of old fashioned relaxation. Add in a couple of kids playing, someone with a guitar or other musical instrument, a couple of fans, and the crunching of ice being ground into pieces as the ice cream maker bucket turns to have a perfect impromptu gathering. Fancy chairs with elaborate cushions, tons of flowers, crystal glasses, and gourmet food are not completely necessary. They could prove interesting though.

The important thing is that the front porch is a place to forget the troubles that can not be resolved by some common sense and helping attitude of neighbors. Not quite as elaborate as a cookout or bar-b-que, but still just a good source of neighborhood togetherness. It isn’t the front porch that made the difference. The front porch simply was the place where the problems could be discussed and dealt with in an easy going atmosphere. So even though the if there really was a front porch for the world to share, all the problems may not be resolved simply by building it, having it there would be a benefit. It would be the place to go to relax, enjoy life, and work on the problems in an atmosphere that encourages being a good neighbor.

Italy is a long way from my little southern town. As if the miles are not enough of a difference, the way people act is an obvious give away. CNN.com ran a news story that has been circulating over the media during the weekend. In Italy, sunbathers sat or walked on the beach only yards from where two dead girls lay covered in a beach towel.

Yes, the miles away are far and show a vast difference in the south and Italy. Even more of a difference is in the attitude of the sunbathers. Having lived in the south my entire life, I can attest to the fact that we have some pretty nosey folks living here. There may be a few that would try to act like a civilized person of character and not run up and peek under the beach towels. I seriously doubt that many would be able to sit calmly acting like nothing was going on even if they were a football field away.

Hey, it’s true, we are nosey! Southerners would want to know what was going on. After finding out, the reaction would vary. Some would walk over and stare at the bodies covered in the towels. Some would leave the beach in a pure panic of being so close to a dead body. Many would be whispering about the girls’ families and how they could allow their little girls to be put in such danger just to earn a small amount of money. Okay, they did not have to get into the water to actually sell the trinkets, but who could resist the urge to cool off a little between sales.

There are many that are complaining in outrage about how disturbing it is to see pictures and video of people casually walking by or sitting nearby. They are simply going on with their day like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. I wonder what their lives must be like if this is so common and ordinary that they can sit by so unconcerned.

These folks sure aren’t from the south. If they were, then the complaints would be about how these poor little girls’ privacy was violated by those jerks raising up the beach towel to look at them. Okay, those would be the type of people that gives the south a bad name. The ones standing by wringing their hands and talking about the families of the poor little girls and how this tragedy might affect them would be the more civilized southerners. Myself, I would be sitting their crying for the lost potential of a 12 year old and a 13 year old that will never have the opportunity of growing old and experiencing the fullness life has to offer.

The full story on CNN.com can be found at http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/07/21/italy.drowning/index.html.

Awhile back, it was suggested that I check out the hot trends page at google. It can be found at http://www.google.com/trends/ but be warned, some of the topics may be quite curious.  It changes often, so what I see will probably be a bit different from what you see.

These are what people are doing searches on. Some are understandable to me, while some are not. With gossip being spread about Oprah, it was no surprise to see “Oprah cheating” as one of the listed trends. Gossip is gossip and tends to get people talking more and more about something.  There seem to be several that are geared towards whatever the local gossip that the media is circulating.

There are several that have appeared that seem quite interesting. At the time I looked there was a mention of a siren festival, mile high music festival, Red Bull flugtag, Pittsburg vintage grand prix, and Yarmouth clam festival. Now, those are understandable since they are probably events that are scheduled that people would want to know more about. I had to check out the Alabama Deep Sea Fishing Rodeo topic. It was pretty much what I expected. The pitchfork festival was a different story. I was expecting a small town festival about pitchforks. I was in for a surprise.

Sometimes, it is possible to know what is showing on television by seeing some of the topics listed. I’ve checked several times to see the name of the movie I had just watched be on the list. News stories make for topics to be included too. At the time of my visit, there were several on the list that I had seen mentioned on the CNN.com site when I checked the latest news.

Whether you agree with the gossipy trend of many these days or you prefer to just find something interesting, Google Trends is still an interesting place to visit. Don’t get lost there. The topics are vast and sometimes not my preferred cup of tea. This southern gal prefers topics that she can understand. Well, maybe I need to go check out the most walkable cities. It looks safe enough for an ole southern gal.

Today as I went through my usually daily routine of logging on and seeing what all I can find that I might find interesting enough to actually read, I came across a mention of amusement parks on AOL. I used to really enjoy going to amusement parks. They were a large part of my life growing up. Until I gained so much weight that they were uncomfortable to visit, I would crave going each summer. I actually missed them.

Of course, that set me in search of hidden memories. When I a young child and into my teens, my parents always found a way for us to take a family vacation. If an amusement park was not part of it, then we often would visit an amusement park for a weekend trip at another time during the summer. I always loved those visits. My favorite rides were the tilt-a-whirl and the roller coasters. The spinning just sort of freed all the thoughts of problems and stress. Whatever had been happening went right out of your mind. Roller coasters had a sense of controlled being out of control. The ups and downs, turns, and spins of the rides were a way to make dreams seem possible and pain only a faint memory.

Don’t get me wrong, my childhood wasn’t extreme. My parents and I had more than our share of disagreements and pains. Through it all, I knew that they loved me and they knew that I respected the fact that they were my parents. Our relationship was never the storybook version which I dreamed of having. We had good days and we had bad days. Through it all, we knew we would be there for each other no matter what. In my young mind, so would the amusement parks. There I could forget whatever arguments we have may had over the past year and just feel free to be me.

I was quite lucky in the range of parks that I visited. North Carolina, Tennessee, and Georgia all had parks that called to me. Six Flags in Georgia was one of the parks that dominated my childhood. I remember spending many days walking the paths, marveling at the beauty that surrounded me. The waiting in line was horrible for a young, impatient girl, but the rides were well worth it. When it was my time to climb into the ride, I could feel the excitement. One of my fondest memories is riding the log flume with my dad. He would always lean down to make sure that you got off the ride as soaking wet as possible.

Tennessee held the key to my heart for years. Opryland combined my love of music and my love of rides. I never visited as much as I would have hoped, but when I did, it was like heaven on earth. I could sit in the audience and hear music that was so close it was like it was actually being played just for me. The intimacy created by such small audience and musicians that were performing for the love of the music melted my heart. I never wanted to leave. The day that Opryland closed, I thought of the song “American Pie” and I truly felt that “this would be the day that I die.” Live through it, I did. My heartache was as real as the pain of a lost love.

The trips continued and one day as a young adult, I saw a tour bus going through the town we were visiting. I enjoyed their music and was thrilled to find out they were playing that day at a local amusement park. I begged, pleaded, cried a thousand tears, and did everything short of threatening my life to get to go. It was expensive. The concert was extra. Did I dare spend the money that I had planned on using for new clothes? You know I did! I plopped down my hard earned money so fast, it made my parent’s head spin. I was going to the show! When I saw the building the concert would be in, I was a little nervous. It was nice looking, but rather small. Would they really try to put on a good show for such a small audience? The music lover in me knew that if they were playing for the love of the music, they would.

The show was great. I had such a great time that I even plopped down money the next day to see yet another group. I had found my own corner of the world again. It had everything I needed. It had an amusement park that truly treasured good music. It had cool mountain streams where my troubles could be simply washed away. I could find peace again. Pigeon Forge and Dollywood were my new escapes. I knew that there, everything could be put in perspective.

We all need our own place that we can feel safe and secure. We all need the opportunity to be free from troubles and just be ourselves. For me, amusement parks were my place growing up. As a teen, the mountains began to take an equal footing. As an adult, I found a place where I can enjoy both. Even though I can not go as often as I wish, when things get tough, I close my eyes and visit my memories. I think it is time to get off my duff and lose some weight. Then I can go back and create new memories with my own children and husband. I would hate to slow the roller coaster down with my heavy weight. Maybe if I start walking, I can kill two birds with one stone. Maybe I could lose weight and find yet another place to escape my worries.

Children are to be cherished. They are gifts of joy that touch our hearts. Sometimes they may be a bit difficult to deal with. Sometimes they simply have too many difficulties to deal with. They come into the world trusting and needing help with even the simplest of body functions. They grow and become at least somewhat independent. The time between should be filled with safety, security, love, and happiness.

We know that nobody can expect to be happy, safe, secure, or even felt to be loved all of the time. Should that mean that we should allow any child to face sadness, insecurity, loneliness, or fear for most of their days? What if that child belongs to a total stranger, if given the opportunity to help, should help be provided?

CNN.com is full of videos and stories of horrors faced by children all over the world. How about the ten year old in Yemen that was married to someone against her wishes? The marriage was arranged by her parents. Although, there are claims as to the conditions of the marriage being broken, nobody stood up for the young child. At ten, she is still a child. A child that was strong enough to do what was necessary to begin the process of divorce when her own family would not or could not help. Who was there to protect her? She eventually found a protector to stand up and help her through the process. After marriage, rape, and divorce, can a ten year old be a child again?

It does not just happen half way around the world. Children need help right here in the United States. Even those with parents that love them and that try their best to protect them. CNN.com also shares the story of a fifteen year old that is facing deportation after a foreign adoption. She lives in Pennsylvania with parents that have been fighting with the immigration department over whether she will be allowed to stay or if she will be forced to leave the only country she has ever truly known. Without any way of knowing who her biological family is, where would a fifteen year old if forced to leave this country and the only parents that she can probably remember?

Is there anything we can do to protect the children of the world? One person is limited as to what they can do. The culture of many countries allow for arranged marriages. Should we try to step in and tell them how to live in their country? Well, personally, I have always heard that you need to clean out from under your own doorstep before you try to tell someone else to clean out from under theirs. There sure is enough for us to straighten out in our own country, state, or even city before we try to straighten out other places.

Take a look around and see what needs help. Do children go to school without necessary clothes or supplies? Is health care available to those that can not afford it? Are there places for the homeless to go for shelter and food? How about the families that are trying as hard as they can but still do not have the money to keep the lights or water working in their home? Can something be done about those things?

In many areas, there are groups that are trying to help. The need often is greater than the resources available. Few people would sell their home to donate thousands of dollars to help the needy. Not everyone has millions to spread around the world to help others. There are much smaller ways that help can be given. Some do not even require a financial requirement. Soup kitchens need servers. Shelters need clothing. Abused women need cell phones. Schools need volunteers to help struggling students. There are many online groups that make craft items that are sent to those in need. How some of these include children may not be immediately clear. Children get hungry and need soup kitchens and shelters. Abused women often have children. The online groups may send school supplies or holiday gifts to the children in need.

The children of the world need help. They need to be allowed to be children and enjoy life. They should not be facing fear, torture, hunger, or loneliness. Stand up and make a difference. Join a large group, help an individual, share a donation, or write a letter. Even if the help provided is not enough to solve the situation, for at least one moment a child was not scared, lonely, hungry, or unloved. For that moment, they were simply a child.

Growing up, Sunday afternoons where the best. Every Sunday, our family would gather at my grandmother’s home. It rarely was the entire family. There was not enough room for that. She had ten children and if you wanted to know how many grandchildren she had on any given day, you better be ready to count and have someone double check your counting. Three of her children had over ten children each.

Sunday afternoons were set aside for family and dinner. Food was a very important part of her day to day life. Any day of the week, if you visited her the subject of food was one of the first topics of the visit. It never failed, as soon as you walked in her door, she would ask, “Have you et yet?” and you did not dare to correct her. Never would she say “eat”, she always said it like that. You never knew what you would be served, but you knew you would get something good to eat.

She would immediately start cooking as soon as she arrived home from church. She always had left over biscuits from breakfast, cornbread, beans, and stew. Sometimes, she would add fried chicken. The stew might be replaced by vegetable soup or chicken and dumplings. Dressing was another favorite of hers. For holidays, she would make a huge pan of banana pudding. The food was not usually fancy, but it was usually plentiful.

After eating, the children were all expected to pitch in and wash the dishes. Considering the fact that there were often fifteen to twenty people there, cleaning up after dinner took quite awhile. We would take turns some days. Others, we would all pitch in and hurry. Either way, the object was to get through and get outside. The front porch was our favorite hangout. If the adults went there, then we were off to the back yard to see what we could get into.

If it was summer and the weather particularly hot, we would have a car wash. We would wash our parent’s cars to get money to walk to the dairy bar. Sometimes, we would get lucky and one of our parents or an older cousin would feel sorry for us and drive us the mile instead of making us walk. It really didn’t matter to us. We simply enjoyed each other’s company. The walk would be hot, but the ice cream was waiting on us. If we were still too hot when we got back to our grandmothers, she would cool us down with ice tea.

Our Sunday afternoon business ventures were not always designed to supply us with an ice cream cone. Our grandmother never decorated for holidays. Whether it was her lack of money or simply her simple way of life, we never knew. What we did know is that she loved Christmas and Easter. As children, Christmas wasn’t Christmas without decorations and a tree. Sometimes, we would come up with yet another business venture simply as a way to get our parents to pay for a tree and decorations. We knew they knew what we were doing. Even though we could have just asked, hard work was embedded into our way of thinking. We knew you got what you worked for, so we worked for our ice cream and our holiday decorations.

A lazy summer afternoon was always in the plans. The plans had to include a time limit though. We arrived at 12:30 and left at 5:00. She had to have time to change clothes before the church bus arrived to take her to church. The week might be hectic and full of school or chores. For our parents, work may have been too much to bear. Through it all, we knew that come Sunday afternoon, we would be surrounded by food, family, fun, and lots of love. Those four and a half hours were the best part of each week.

Southern people enjoy a special way of life. Although, life is busy, they know how to take time to slow it down from time to time. A weekend cookout, fresh lemonade on the porch swing, a pickup game of ball in the yard, or an afternoon listening to the same stories you have heard at least a dozen times can help slow the pace to a more manageable level. 

Let’s face it. Life can be complicated. Each day, we seem to rush more and more. Over time, we can lose sight of what is really important to us. Things begin to overwhelm us. The more we do, the more we see that needs done. The harder we work, the harder we are expected to work. It simply seems like we can never do enough.  

Then we really need to be able to take a step back. Examine how we feel about life as we enjoy a walk down memory lane to a time when things were not so complicated. A laugh or two along the way sure makes the road traveled a little less harsh. When time is too short to travel that long road down memory lane, a little Southern Musings is definitely in order.